As a lower-middle class westerner, I have been to 4 star hotels, but not 5 star. The Holiday Inn -Crown Plaza in Bangkok is 5 star. A high-rise with 6 resturants, nice gym, fab pool on the 6th floor deck and a

virtual horde of uniformed smiling people to tend to your every need. "Good morning sir, good morning madam" waving their hands to usher us along to our next luxury overload. To duplicate this in the states would have to make it $300 a night. We paid $57. The international breakfast buffet was a complete mind-blower. I ignored the Japaneese stuff and stuck to the following -which I had every morning:

3 egg custom omlet -made to order by chef at buffet.

6 strips bacon

2 veal sausage links

hash browns

french toast with cherry compote and maple syrup

two whole wheat croissant

Indian chick pea curry

two natural full-fat yogurts

Tropical fruit plate with papaya /pineapple /watermelon

Cheese danish

3 glasses fresh squeezed orange juice and three teas

Mother of God, for those of you who are not afraid of food, you know I couldn't wait to get up in the morning! Sometimes, we just attended "High Tea" in the afternoon for our dinner. That China /silverware and cloth affair with live violin /piano player and hyper-spread of french sweets and finger sandwitches - made you feel as if you had died and been re-born as aristocracy. (Cost? 250 baht..= $6.25) I couldn't face going home after that.

Ahh, let me step back. The flight. Oh God, the flight. Picture flying from the center of the USA to Rome and then back...then do it again in 5 days. It was murder. After 10 hours elapsed over the Pacific, your legs start to tell you that they need to move else something bad will happen. Then go another 2 hours, get out for 30 minutes in Tokyo (wasn't that a movie?) and get on another 747 for 7 hours in the dark over Southeast Asia. It is a transisional chataqua. You are time transfigured +37 hours into a world where you are rich, well dressed and European. (thank goodness the airfare is low)

When you get off the plane and actually walk out the airport doors, it hits you. The wall of wet, hot, black air. I can't say I have ever felt this before. Dense-Urban tropical..thats what it is.

I brought my filter masks...including a charcoal one..and asthma inhaler, but needed neither.

You see, 2 stroke motorcycles are ubiquitous. 50-150cc jap rigggggg-a-ding-dingers are everywhere.

I imagine there are millions. I noticed that in a shop, the price was 5300 baht for one...$132.50 USD.

All the cops on motorcycles are wearing masks, as well as about 1/5th of the citizen bikers. At the intersections, all the bikes work their way to the front of the line and pull out in a black cloud of exaust.

Back to hotels. You can get a really decent hotel in BKK for $25 USD a night. Just set your limit and get something. Splurge a bit- and you are royalty. Go low- and you are with back-packers.

So, street level in BKK..what is it like? The city seems to average about 4 stories. Along the bottom of virtually every street are standard shops. In the cross alleys and small roads are vending carts for food and goods. Let me say that -Bangkok is for sale. Anything and everything is for sale. Things like Gems, Gold (which they really fancy), food, clothing, fruit, watches and people. You could spend all your time shopping and relaxing, meditating and praying or eating and whoring...whatever you like. It is odd to realize it - but for the average westerner - lets say middle class -30 something...you could liquidate all your possessions and IRA's..move to Thailand, have a grand house built for 50K...and live off your money for the rest of your days...with hired hands to clean, wash and cook. People have done it (even without needing to evade the law)

So, you walk along..hop on Tuk-Tuks (3 wheeled 2 stroke taxi-carts)..grab regular taxis...and duck in and out of heavy traffic (on the Brit side) and then into quite side streets, alleys and Wats. These are the gems of BKK. All of the sudden peace exits..and there is air to breathe. There are 400+ wats (temples) in BKK. Normally, they are quiet..almost empty. We sat for hours in various wats getting our calm back.

The monks live there..as well as the orphans of the city. These kids many times become monks.

The peacefullness of Buddism pervades the Thai personality. It has a claming effect..which resonates throughout the Thai people. The type of Buddism in Thailand is the variety which leans on self study and meditation...self matriculation to a purified state. Of course that is one of the biggest draws about BKK.

It is the duality of absolute sensory overload -and Buddism - whose highest goal is the loss of desire.

Participating in this philosophical dichotomy is what experiencing BKK is all about.

His Royal Magisty King Bhumipol Adyulyadej Rama 9 ...is the monarch in Thailand. He is the absolutely adored leader of this magical place. It is really confounding for an American to see a place where it seems every last citizen extolls the virutes of their king with convincing passion. It was his 72 nd birthday that Sunday..and on each corner were banners, tall banners, bold and blue flags and great built-up presentations of the many talents of this grand king. I saw pictures of him with his 35mm camera, with a walkie-talkie, in a fish hatchery, with musical instruments...and in endless caring endeavours in his kingdom. The amazing thing is, he was born in Chicago, went to school in Mass. , married his wife there and returned to become king of Thailand for 50 years. Yes, he is technically and American!

The city went crazy that day. We were awash in a parade of thousands. Army guys, Ms. Thailand, marching bands, more army guys, chineese dragons, indian sikhs and millions of Thai people. We had to escape when our "personal space" went to zero. The royal golden barges (south pacific style golden boats) paraded down the river...and fireworks lit up the water. What a dude! (I actually like him too!)

Ahh, so you are wondering about Patpong? The red-light district. Well, Patpong is actually two small streets (Patpong 1 and 2) going in-between Silom rd. and a road parallel to Silom to the north. It is totally integrated into and mixed with the tourist flea-market. This starts at 6pm each night.

As you are bargining with watch sellers, men with white cards showing the many positions of exctasy you will see upstairs in the many clubs. Downstairs is viewable to the street. What you see is 10-20 teenage Thai girls with g-strings on..holding on to vertical bars and bouncing once to each quarter note in the music. If I was single, I would have more for you here...all I can tell you is that the "banana show" and the "ping-pong show" were two of the ones I passed up. The beers were about $4 each and there is a stiff entrance fee I hear. I did see some prostitutes...who resemble working girls in any country. A grim deal for all it seems. Most of the transvestites looked really bad- I was only fooled by one for a moment.

The river. The Chao Praya river snakes its way through Bangkok. It seems about 150 meters wide and it is a churning brown thing with 1.5 meter swells. Because BKK has no sewage processing, the effluent of it's ten million inhabitents flows into the central waterway in town. The flotsome is a mix of tropical plants, plastic bottles and dead carcases. You definately don't want to fall overboard into it. The river istelf is quite a thing to see. Brightly painted boats of every description are crossing every direction...whistles blowing. Giant teak beauties..and fancy hotel boats with fine chairs. Long sharp nosed speed boats with exposed motors on pivots..and 3 meter propeller axles protruding. The coastline is a mix of skyscrapers in all stages of construction..with a definate Thai design flair. Mixed in are Wats..and traditional ornate Thai buildings...bright red and gold. Just along the water-line are badly worn brown wooden shacks..some with coca-cola signs in Thai. People are hanging out their clothes...and Europeans are drinking coffee in slightly tilted cafes. Traveling on a river ferry in BKK -is one of the times when you smile and realize you will never forget this moment.

When you get on the ferry boat (sharp nose boats go up and down the river -round nose go across (2 baht))

the money lady will come by. She shakes her alluminum tube of change and gives you a blank stare. State your destination and pay the 5-10 baht fee..and get your torn ticket. Easy enough. To cross over, get off and walk around to the second pier..and pay the lady 2 baht at the turnstile window. Up a few stops from the Oriental Hotel (major landmark) is Wat Arun. It is quite unique..and dispite some less than glowing reports on it, I say GO. It has a special feel to it. The whole design is different from any other Wat you will see. When you arrive, watch out for the 40 baht -trick scam. There are cut-out Thai dancer plaques for you to pop your face through and snap away. Hidden is the 40 baht per picture fee sign. When you are done, the folks come out with their hands open. Its a buck, and it was a laugh. Whatever. Go back across the river and ferry up to the Royal Palace. (the market there is pretty good)

The Royal Palace is beyond anything I have ever seen as far as initial impact. Well, Maybe seeing Lenin's corpse took my breath away for a few more seconds....but there is no more beautiful "city block" on the planet. It is simply beyond description. A 30 meter high golden Ice-cream blob lands up to be covered in finger nail sized amber mirror glass mosaic. All over are incarnations of the "White Monkey Officer of King Rama 1" ...gold, blue, silver -Wizard of Oz characters gaurding the temples. This Had to be the inspiration for the movie. After closing your jaw and regaining oxygen to your brain, go into the main temple to see the Emerald Budda. Preferrably go in during prayers. We got on the floor with everyone else and for a moment were not ourselves. Christianity has nothing so unjaded to offer. It was beautiful.

Wat Po and Wat Prah Kaoh are also in the same area..and are all see'able by walking around. They are also very nice, but the Grand Palace is it.

Other things to see are:

Jim Thompson's house....an american came to Thailand in the fourties and helped build up the silk trade. He built a traditional Thai house on a canal (Klong)..and then dissapeared completely while trekking alone in the jungle in 67'. Are we surprized?..No. Anyhow, the house is quite nice...but the taxi drivers don't know where it is.

World Trade Center. This is a mega-mall..really big. It is worth a 15 minute look-around. Get some Green-tea ice cream in the basement grocery store...ummm..good. When you are done there, walk across the Rama 1 road...and check out the Erewhan (spelling?) shrine on the corner. It is a place where you can say prayers for love problems. What a show! You can pay for 15 minutes of traditional dancers to come out...which helps your prayer along they say. Giant piles of marigolds and food of all tropical types are offered to the golden Budda. The clean-up guy can hardly scoop up the stuff fast enough. The air is cloudy with inscents...and lotus flowers are draped everywhere.

Limpini Park: (pron: Lumpini) This big park is about 2 miles from the river on Silom Rd. . Go there to relax and get the city out of you. In the morning, folks do Tai-Chi there.

Oriental Hotel: Oh baby, step into Oz. Guys with those turned-up toe shoes and funny hats are at the doors. High tea is also quite the thing to do. There it will cost you 550 baht though.

Thai Historical Museum: Up one stop from the Royal Palace- this is a relaxing look at the history of Thailand. It is definately worth the 40 baht entrance. the music school in next door...and walk around inside. I landed up jamming with some kids on classical guitars.

OK..end of the day..I'll continue this next week....Bob