Topic 1 of 105: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Tue, Feb 24, 1998 (00:36) |
Paul Terry Walhus (terry)
Introduce yourself, if you dare.
74 responses total.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 1 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Tue, Feb 24, 1998 (20:59) * 6 lines
Well, you should darn well know me by now :)
What's the score on opening topics here (*wry grin*)? Who's boots do I have to kiss to be allowed, or am I free to click my mouse wherever?
Claudia Schiffer would be an excellent topic to personally open :)
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 2 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Wed, Feb 25, 1998 (00:16) * 2 lines
Go for it Mike, excellent topic selection.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 3 of 74: Autumn Moore (autumn) * Wed, Feb 25, 1998 (22:11) * 1 lines
I'm Autumn (duh!) and although I'm not a big babes fan overall, I think the most appealing actresses around these days are Andie MacDowell and Michelle Pfeiffer. I wouldn't drool over them personally, but it's just food for thought...
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 4 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Thu, Feb 26, 1998 (15:54) * 5 lines
Andie McDowell - oui
Michelle Pfeiffer - non
Alicia Silverstone - oui oui oui :))
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 5 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Thu, Feb 26, 1998 (16:01) * 2 lines
Do we have a full-time host, here, and if not, do we need one? It would be nice to have a hosty e-mail link, and a proper conference header (rather than the default there now). How about Drool vs. Babes? :)) That would be good. Nan and I head-to-head - again!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 6 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Fri, Feb 27, 1998 (02:29) * 2 lines
I nominate Mike Griggs of Claudia Schiffer page fame!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 7 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Tue, Mar 3, 1998 (21:18) * 3 lines
Happy to do it....more than happy. Ecstatic! By the way, all drop by to the Claire Danes topic which I've just opened...*swooon* *thud*
:)
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 8 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Wed, Mar 4, 1998 (06:56) * 1 lines
OK, I'll add you as host.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 9 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Tue, Mar 10, 1998 (16:52) * 2 lines
I have an idea. How about each week/fortnight we choose one "babe", and then spend a week/two weeks trawling the web for superb pictures of the chosen lady. We could post the pictures in a topic and then vote on the best - it could be a Spring-wide award!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 10 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Tue, Mar 10, 1998 (22:44) * 6 lines
Sounds like a great plan.
My prediction for Miss America, and this is before the pick is made,
is Miss California. I usually pick the winner. Let's see if I'm right
this year.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 11 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Wed, Mar 11, 1998 (08:34) * 1 lines
So let's choose a babe to search for! Suggestions...?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 12 of 74: Wolf (Wolf) * Thu, Mar 12, 1998 (23:18) * 4 lines
well, miss usa was massachusetts, but hey, california was 1st runner up *grin*
*sounds of clearing throat*, good luck finding pics of me on the web *sly wolfy
grin*
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 13 of 74: Mike Griggs (mikeg) * Fri, Mar 13, 1998 (00:51) * 2 lines
*smiles*...can we find you, wolfy?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 14 of 74: Wolf (Wolf) * Fri, Mar 13, 1998 (09:42) * 1 lines
yeah, just search for dogs *grin*
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 15 of 74: Autumn Moore (autumn) * Sun, Mar 15, 1998 (16:28) * 1 lines
caninas lupus, eh?? (how's my latin?)
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 16 of 74: The Fabulous Market Babe (fabmktbabe) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (00:06) * 3 lines
Given my name, I had to post here!
For stock market commentary that is informative and entertaining, check me out at http://www.fabmktbabe.com
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 17 of 74: Autumn Moore (autumn) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (00:19) * 1 lines
Go away, spam babe!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 18 of 74: wer (KitchenManager) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (01:28) * 2 lines
especially since I couldn't find a single nekkie picture of you
at your site...
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 19 of 74: Riette Walton (riette) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (01:59) * 3 lines
If you come here, you have to stay! I mean, how can anyone resist people like us? Hey, Wer, Autumn?
Easily, I suspect!!!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 20 of 74: wer (KitchenManager) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (02:01) * 1 lines
yeah, that's why the three of us have kids...
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 21 of 74: Riette Walton (riette) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (02:15) * 3 lines
True, true!
You think they took pity on us?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 22 of 74: wer (KitchenManager) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (02:20) * 1 lines
not even going there...
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 23 of 74: Riette Walton (riette) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (07:40) * 3 lines
§§§§§hudder!
No, me neither. Some questions are better left unasked.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 24 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (07:49) * 2 lines
And some answers are better left unquestioned.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 25 of 74: wer (KitchenManager) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (08:21) * 1 lines
you know that's right!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 26 of 74: Riette Walton (riette) * Fri, Jul 10, 1998 (11:42) * 1 lines
Amen!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 27 of 74: marshall smyth (marshallsmyth) * Thu, Feb 1, 2001 (22:29) * 1 lines
hi
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 28 of 74: Marcia (MarciaH) * Thu, Feb 1, 2001 (23:02) * 1 lines
Welcome Marshall - this is where the guys hang out...
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 29 of 74: host (mikeg) * Tue, Feb 6, 2001 (14:55) * 7 lines
Men are here!
We make fire!
Cook meat!
Then piss on fire to put out...
No get invited back.
Welcome :-)
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 30 of 74: Sharane (Sharane) * Fri, Mar 16, 2001 (16:57) * 8 lines
Hi everybody, I'm absolutely new here.
I'm a student from the far-away country Hungary, looking for pictures of Rachel Colover, a british model, born in 1964. She had the role of Lady Igraine in the movie Merlin (1998), and she was simply so beautiful that I decided to collect as many pictures of her as possible.
I'd like to ask for your help: I could hardly find any pictures of her on the Web, so I would be very pleased if somebody helped me out with sending me some stuff. (nerys@freemail.hu)
Thanx!
Shar
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 31 of 74: host (mikeg) * Sat, Mar 17, 2001 (05:02) * 7 lines
Hi Sharane,
Welcome to Babes! I haven't heard of Rchel Colover - do you have any pictures of her at all? If so we could start a topic and then I will get my spies to search the web high and low for pictures.
mike (host)
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 32 of 74: Marcia (MarciaH) * Mon, Jun 11, 2001 (21:42) * 1 lines
Spy Marci hunting for the lady in question. I loved the movie but do not recall the name. Welcome and Aloha Sharane!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 33 of 74: Wolfie Baby (wolf) * Sun, Jun 24, 2001 (15:44) * 1 lines
do we have the name spelled right?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 34 of 74: Marcia (MarciaH) * Sun, Jun 24, 2001 (19:42) * 1 lines
Apparently so - she how has a topic!! (Wolfie, I crashed!)
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 35 of 74: tom flan (tattootom) * Wed, Sep 25, 2002 (12:51) * 1 lines
hi im tom
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 36 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Wed, Sep 25, 2002 (16:07) * 1 lines
Hey Tattoo Tom, where are ya' from?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 37 of 74: jerry springer (jerryspringer) * Mon, Nov 18, 2002 (17:06) * 2 lines
[babes]: news babes and hunks
My favorite is Ilona Torok. She is a babe to me.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 38 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Mon, Nov 18, 2002 (22:08) * 1 lines
Vote for her in the poll.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 39 of 74: GeoNymph (MarciaH) * Thu, Dec 12, 2002 (00:15) * 1 lines
Did not know Jerry Springer was a babe afficiando. One learns so much on the internet. Now I have to go look at who this new babe is.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 40 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Wed, Sep 10, 2003 (16:27) * 1 lines
I think we need to get the Babe action going some more. I think we should find some new babes and add them.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 41 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:06) * 3 lines
how about Natasha Henstridge?
click me
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 42 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:06) * 1 lines
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 43 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:06) * 1 lines
mmmm
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 44 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:13) * 3 lines
Or Victoria Silvstedt
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 45 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:14) * 3 lines
Oops, don't know what happened there
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 46 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:14) * 3 lines
weird
click for pic
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 47 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (04:23) * 5 lines
Hmmm, I guess you can't link directly to it.
There's always Heidi Klum, though:
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 48 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (09:45) * 1 lines
I'm for Heidi or Victoria anytime. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 49 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (15:04) * 2 lines
Mike,
The picture on the front page doesn't come up. Maybe you should put up a new one.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 50 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (15:09) * 1 lines
Good idea..any suggestions?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 51 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Thu, Sep 11, 2003 (21:24) * 1 lines
How about Britney
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 52 of 74: host (mikeg) * Mon, Sep 15, 2003 (09:40) * 4 lines
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
find me a photo then and we'll arrange it
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 53 of 74: host (mikeg) * Mon, Sep 15, 2003 (09:40) * 1 lines
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 54 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Wed, Sep 17, 2003 (21:04) * 2 lines
Mike I found one give me your email and I'll send it to you.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 55 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Wed, Sep 17, 2003 (21:05) * 1 lines
Found you email at the front of the Babes page and sent you the Pic.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 56 of 74: host (mikeg) * Thu, Sep 18, 2003 (14:19) * 1 lines
yup, got it. Will arrange to have it uploaded over the next few days.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 57 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Sat, Oct 25, 2003 (18:38) * 5 lines
Mike,
Got a another new Babe that might add some new life to the page.
Kathern Zeta Jones
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 58 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Sun, Oct 26, 2003 (08:42) * 2 lines
She's in a current movie isn't she?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 59 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Sun, Oct 26, 2003 (22:19) * 1 lines
Yes it's called Intolerable Cruelty
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 60 of 74: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Tue, Oct 28, 2003 (14:30) * 2 lines
Cool
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 61 of 74: User & (admin) * Thu, Feb 12, 2004 (14:35) * 4 lines
Saw a real life New York babe.
Adamic.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 62 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Fri, Jan 14, 2005 (17:14) * 1 lines
This anyone still around?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 63 of 74: Babe Watch (terry) * Sat, Jan 15, 2005 (17:18) * 1 lines
Yep.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 64 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Sun, Jan 16, 2005 (13:32) * 1 lines
We need to try and get some action going again.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 65 of 74: GeoNymph (MarciaH) * Sat, Mar 12, 2005 (21:02) * 1 lines
We need to do something. I'm with you on how fantastic Catherine Zeta-Jones is. What an amazing-looking creature she is. EXCELLENT choice.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 66 of 74: Babe Watch (terry) * Mon, Mar 14, 2005 (13:07) * 1 lines
Stats show here topic is one of the top three on the Spring.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 67 of 74: Wolfie Baby (wolf) * Tue, May 17, 2005 (18:47) * 1 lines
can we have a hunks conference or topic? drool is overrun with firthers and i think you have to have a personal invite to get in.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 68 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Wed, May 18, 2005 (00:02) * 1 lines
I would get with Terry and have him setuone up.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 69 of 74: tony taurus (manthrax) * Mon, Sep 26, 2005 (03:12) * 117 lines
To my Dearest Angelina,
Please don’t be frightened. I am an honest man and this letter is a way to declare my honest intentions. Would you have me lie to myself? I know that you are not that kind of woman, that you wouldn’t have me carry a burden of such emotional weight. This isn’t just another ‘stalker letter’, nor am I just another star struck fan who sees you as a one dimensional character from one of your movies. Indeed, you exist in three dimensions and the best representation I’ve been able to put together is a lip simulator which is made of two lightly inflated bicycle inner tubes. I’ve been practicing kissing these and I think I’ve got it down pat.
But I can understand why you’d be afraid of unsolicited mail in these crazy times. Just rest assured that if there’s any suspicious white powder that comes with this letter, it’s only a dose of Manthrax and, yes, I think there is a great danger that you might already be infected.
I understand your plight, the one I’ve read about in Who Weekly. Hollyweird is full of conceited bachelors who consider marriage to be something they pencil in their daily agendas between aerobic pole dancing and botox shots. These men are commitment-phobes and you’ve been burned before but I shall provide you with the dependability that you so deserve.
I don’t take love lightly, in fact I haven’t taken it at all since the last century. And though we’re now in the early 2000s, I like to think of it as circumstantial celibacy, yeah that’s it. I believe that it’s built so much character into me that it’s become an extra personality, the one that’s written you this letter. It’s the other personality that gets frustrated and lights local grass fires.
Your name means Angel of the Earth- probably- and Palm Beach is an earthy place if ever there was one. When you come here you can share in one of my favourite pastimes- watching society’s down-and-outs argue with the pre-recorded spruiker that blares from the speakers on the footpath outside the pawn brokers. I always barrack for the spruiker, he’s still there, undefeated.
Billy Bob didn’t know how to treat you right but I do. I wouldn’t write a country music song about you like he did, I’d probably write an R&B track and get Usher to perform it but I’d lip sync it for the film clip. Such is the romantic fool that is I.
Yours in Christ,
Tony Taurus.
Dear Mister Taurus,
You are quite right in assuming that Ms. Jolie doesn’t like to answer unsolicited mail and I must convey that your letter was somewhat alarming. I’d also like to point out the typo you made with the word Anthrax. Unless it was a pun, in which case you really have sent a case of foot in mouth disease through the mail.
As Ms. Jolie’s publicist, I shall send you a signed photograph and the following bio which I usually defer to the creeps, the teeny boppers, the papparazzi and the terminally unglamorous-
Angelina Jolie is the talented actress who has appeared in such acclaimed films as Girl Interrupted, Tomb Raiders 1 & 2, Alexander and Taking Lives. On average, she’s been in fewer flops than Jennifer Aniston. She’s 5ft 6.5, her favourite colour is teal and she has a fireman’s pole in her house instead of stairs.
Yours Sincerely,
Yohann Lispy.
PS- I forge the autographs on all the photos.
Dear Mr. Lispy,
Or should I say my deceptive love chameleon? You are an actress and I must say, bravo, this is your finest performance to date.
Angelina, I am amazed at how well you are able to impersonate a pretentiously droll, obviously gay publicist. Encore my darling!
I suppose the scary thing is that Hollywood is actually populated with insipid little wierdoes like the fictional Mr. Lispy. It must be horribly trying for a pomme de terre- angel of the earth- such as yourself. How you maintain your elegant loveliness in such an ugly rat race is nothing less than a phenomenon.
And yet they point the bone at you, proclaiming that you’re some sort of sideshow attraction because you used to wear a vial of your ex-husband’s blood around your neck and you made a point of french-kissing your brother in full public view. They try and paint these things as the desperate stunts of an attention junkie but I know them for what they really are. A cry for love. I understand your crazy language.
Let them cast their stones, for they don’t realise that the glass house has many cracks in it and it’s only a matter of time before it shatters, and when it does they shall be slashed with the shards of their folly- shards that are actually camera lenses- and we shall wear their blood in vials around our necks, but they’ll have to be really big vials because there’ll be so much blood. Ha!
Your ex- husband Billy Bob Thornton was the real weirdo. I remember reading in Who Weekly that he went on a diet that only permitted him to eat foods that were orange. I can see why things didn’t work out with him. Typical yokel. I assume that like most men in Hollywood, he’s gay and I suppose you would be the perfect foil for him to be able to carry it off. Still, it must have been hard for him to maintain his secret fruitiness around a sex symbol such as yourself.
I hate orange, especially orange foods. Pumpkin, sweet potato, cheezels and even oranges. Can’t stand them. I only eat foods that are teal coloured, which is hard because the only food that’s teal is the freshwater duck of the same name, and they’re only teal coloured because of the feathers so I have to eat them raw and unplucked. Sometimes alive. If you’re rich and famous then that would be considered eccentric, but if you’re poor and nobody then apparently it’s strange. Or cruel apparently.
Do not tarry, mi amore.
Yours Obsessively,
Tony Taurus.
PS: Please find enclosed a swatch of hair, some fingernail clippings and a locket in the shape of a love heart, sculpted out of earwax. The hair and fingernail will make some great eccentric jewellery that you can wear to advertise our relationship.
Mister Taurus,
Johann Lispy, Angelina’s Jolie’s publicist again. I’ve taken the precaution of forwarding the samples from your body that you sent in the mail to the LAPD for evidence, in case you commit a crime and I’m pretty sure that’s imminent in the not too distant future.
I fear not only for my client, but also for anyone else in your own confused universe. You are not even a sleep booger in Angelina’s bright and clear eye.
Your country’s own law enforcement has been alerted and have assured us of their full cooperation in making sure that you remain a nuisance rather than becoming a threat.
If insanity persists, please see a doctor,
Johann Lispy.
Publicist to the stars.
To My Dear First Lady Of Sarcasm,
Laughter is surely the food of love and you have set before me a sumptuous banquet of mirth. I do hope that when we first meet, you shall do an impersonation of the fictional little publicist. How you come up with these characters I will never know; genius and beauty in one svelte package.
And yet, there is something that haunts me. Please, if I’m being a silly mooncalf, then give me a gentle smack and set me straight.
One of my sources who reads New Weekly has informed me of a rumour that Brad Pitt and Jennifer have broken up and the reason is you! Please assuage these foolish anxieties that rip at my heart like a circular saw at the rumour mill.
Yours Only,
Tony Taurus.
Mr. Taurus,
It is a condition of my employment that all personal matters pertaining to my client are to be treated with strict confidentiality, unless she says otherwise. In your case I’m going to make an exception.
Mr. Pitt, or the Bradhammer as I affectionately call him when we’re having power lunches, is currently buying an island on which he will propose to Ms. Jolie. She has told me that they are planning to have many talented, beautiful offspring, and while they’re busy doing that, these two perfect lovers will leave the likes of you in their wake as they ascend to the summit of a glorious life. I sincerely hope that this news is not too distressing for you. Should you wish to send a card or present, I’d be happy to pass it on to the excited couple on their impending big day.
In the meantime, think happy thoughts.
All the best,
Johann Lispy.
Darling,
I have seen these wretched gutter press stories with my own eyes and though I know they must be gross fabrications, they still infect me with crazed jealousy. And though it seems a little too convenient: the notion that the world’s sexiest woman would hook up with the world’s so-called sexiest man, it smacks of the usual muck-raking that’s so typical of these entertainment hacks with their poison pens.
But I do think it’s time you ditched the ruse of pretending to be this “Yohann’ character. I’ve worked out why you’re doing it. At first I thought you were just trying to be funny, but now I know that you’ve needed to use the alias to throw the papparazzi off our scent. But we must be brave. We must boldly own each other. I’ve seen you take down a twenty foot robot with a hairclip, so I know that you’ll be able to face up to this. And if you can’t, I’ll be your strength.
Despite the lies and allegations, I do trust you and I know that trust is mutual. I know that you’d never accuse me of stalking Jennifer Aniston-Pitt or whatever her last name is. She’s all Brad’s as far as I’m concerned. All of my attention is attuned to the vibrations that you make with every tiny movement; you are the butterfly fluttering on the other side of the world and the soft beat of your powdery wings pulses over me. The static on the TV and the mildewed stains on the bathroom walls all reveal your face when I stare at them for a long time. And I do.
I feel better already. I know that when you receive this you’ll lovingly shake your head, purse your characteristically massive lips, absent-mindedly fondle some trinkets from your latest tomb raid, and then you’ll sigh that I’m such a silly-billy dingbat twerp. Guilty as charged. Love can reduce a normally stable, well-adjusted man of the world such as myself to a charmingly creepy hermit who compulsively Googles your name.
Love conquers all,
Your Tony Taurus.
Mister Taurus,
Yohann Lispy here, again.
Perhaps your only hope is to come back in your next life as a cute orphan so Brad and Angelina will adopt you. That’s as close as you’ll ever get.
In case you haven’t heard, Bradgelina is a single entity, as well as a registered trading name for a franchise of coffee houses. Two souls have merged as one ultimate majestic celebrity force that is gracious enough to have yours truly bathe in their celestial glory. Please don’t let The Facts depress you.
Get a life,
Yohann Lispy (Publicist to the stars).
Dear Brad Pitt,
I didn’t think it would come to this, but here it is. You know who I am. My name is Tony Taurus. No doubt Angelina has told you all about me, as torn as she is between yourself, an average beefcake himbo, and me: a really special person who hides beneath a protective veil of mediocrity. You can think of me as the guy who has superpowers that no therapist can take away.
I also assume that you know the reason I’m writing. I have found out, through my confidential sources (New Weekly and That’s Life), that you have pulled a swifty and tried to come between me and Angie. Now I’m not one to take the moral high-ground, but you are a married man and what you are doing is bringing disrepute, not just on yourself, but upon all of Hollywood with its cultural excellence and its high ethical standards. You should be ashamed of yourself. Surely an esteemed thespian such as you is aware of this kind of publicity, if nothing else.
I can ruin you Brad. I can make sure that you will never work in Hollywood, or Palm Beach for that matter, ever again. Sure, you might land a job at Movie World, impersonating a character from Police Academy or maybe even yourself, as you were in the days when scandal hadn’t corroded your golden boy image, but it will be a long, hard fall from grace and I will be there, waiting at the bottom of that Pittfall.
It could be that way. But I have a little thing called honour.
That’s why I challenge you to a round of fisticuffs on the 11th Avenue groyne at dusk, October 1st. Should you forfeit the invitation to my fight club, I shall take it as a sign that you have tucked your tail between your legs and scarpered away like the whimpering cur that you are. It’s different when it’s not in a movie, isn’t it Brad? Fear is your reality and reality is your fear. It’s that kind of deep insight that has won me the affections of Angie.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 70 of 74: GeoNymph (MarciaH) * Fri, Oct 7, 2005 (19:05) * 1 lines
Interesting, if nothing else.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 71 of 74: Torpo Cacafuego (torp) * Fri, Aug 18, 2006 (11:27) * 4 lines
Give me Latina, dark, slim and inviting. Salma comes to mind, so does Raquel Maldonado. Keep your statuesque blondes. Keep your ebony hotties. Give me Latina!
torp
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 72 of 74: Babe Watcher (cfadm) * Mon, Sep 11, 2006 (10:49) * 1 lines
You didn't mention Eva Longoria.
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 73 of 74: Gregory Kenkel (Gregory) * Tue, Jan 2, 2007 (08:57) * 1 lines
Is anyone still around? I check everyday and haven't seen any action for quite a while? I was wondering if it was even worth trying to find some new babes to spice up the page?
Topic 1 of 105 [babes]: Intros for the less than faint at heart
Response 74 of 74: Babe Watcher (cfadm) * Sat, Feb 24, 2007 (21:42) * 1 lines
Sure go for it.
babes conference 
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