Topic 149 of 177: advanced masturbatory device
Tue, Feb 9, 1999 (14:34) |
Paul Terry Walhus (terry)
Did you ever wonder why you wanted to work at IBM?
Wonder no more.
21 responses total.
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 1 of 21: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Tue, Feb 9, 1999 (14:36) * 18 lines
US5501650: Automated masturbatory device
Inventor(s): Gellert; Reinhard R. , Arlington Heights, IL 60004
Applicant(s): none
Issued/Filed Dates: March 26, 1996 / Sept. 8, 1993
Application Number: US1993000118154
IPC Class: A61F 005/00;
Class: 600/038;
Field of Search: 600/38-41 128/897-899
Abstract: A variable speed motor powering a crankshaft driven sealed
transducer producing pneumatically induced reciprocating motion of a
receiver when a male organ is inserted. The present invention employs a
hermetic system to prevent loss of synchronization. The receiver is
designed with an inner liner compliant enough to accommodate a plurality
of sizes and shapes of male penises. The present invention produces a
stroke of approximately 3 inches at a frequency of up to 350 per minute.
Primary/Assistant Examiners: Sykes; Angela D.; Lacyk; J.
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 2 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Tue, Feb 9, 1999 (22:28) * 5 lines
this of course spurred me to see if
brownpeniswax.net is a registered
domain name...it isn't...
(does that mean, that IBM stands for "I Be Masturbatin'"?)
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 3 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Wed, Feb 10, 1999 (12:38) * 3 lines
LOLLOLLOL!!!
I By Myself....
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 4 of 21: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Wed, Feb 10, 1999 (13:54) * 1 lines
Hey, you like that!
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 5 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Sat, Feb 13, 1999 (00:01) * 33 lines
in the same vein...
THE NEW TAX LAW
The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male
penis. This is due to the fact that 40% the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is
pissed off
and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two
dependents
and they are both nuts. Effective January 1st, 1999, your penis
will be
taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10-12" Luxury Tax $30.00
8-10" Pole Tax $25.00
5-8" Privilege Tax $15.00
4-5" Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO
NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!
Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
IRS
NOTE:
We are still waiting for answers for the following
questions:
* Are there penalties for early withdrawals?
* What if one's penis is self employed?
* Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
* Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes?
* Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 6 of 21: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Sat, Feb 13, 1999 (08:23) * 2 lines
And is there a tax on the IBM AMD?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 7 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (12:07) * 1 lines
Apparently in South Africa they are considering making poligamy legal. I think I shall immigrate when that happens.
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 8 of 21: Ray Lopez (ratthing) * Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (16:08) * 3 lines
oh goody!! i cant wait!
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 9 of 21: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (16:46) * 2 lines
For real they're making it legal? What brought this on?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 10 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Tue, Apr 27, 1999 (21:21) * 1 lines
man's desire to treat women as property?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 11 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (05:29) * 1 lines
THe divorce rate brought it on. South Africa has the highest divorce rate in the world, and at the bottom of it is man's inability to remain true to a single spouse. So, the way to make the divorce rate go down, you let people marry all the people they fall in love with. Plus the fact that in most black tribes poligamy takes place, and since South Africa is made up of a black majority, there is no reason why their marital practises shouldn't be included in the consitution as well.
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 12 of 21: Paul Terry Walhus (terry) * Wed, Apr 28, 1999 (09:09) * 3 lines
So, are there a lot more women than men in SA? And do whites do these
polygamous marriages also, or will they with the new law do you think?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 13 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Thu, Apr 29, 1999 (01:03) * 1 lines
I read an article about it. It seems most people want it! Except, the women insist that, just as men will be allowed to marry several women, they should be allowed to marry several men too. At which there was a huge outcry from the male side, of course.
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 14 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Thu, Apr 29, 1999 (01:07) * 3 lines
of coure...polygyny: yes, polyandry: no
just like I said earlier...
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 15 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Thu, Apr 29, 1999 (10:23) * 1 lines
Yeah. THAT thang. You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 16 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Thu, Apr 29, 1999 (11:05) * 1 lines
I'd like what?
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 17 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Fri, Apr 30, 1999 (02:42) * 1 lines
That THING! WHatever it was. WHat was it again? Some kind of advanced masturbatory device, I guess. Like a thermosflask.
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 18 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Fri, Apr 30, 1999 (11:48) * 1 lines
if it was advanced enough to be organic...
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 19 of 21: Riette Walton (riette) * Mon, May 3, 1999 (01:06) * 4 lines
-/-
---
ah, sweet satisfacion...
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 20 of 21: slight taste of mafia (KitchenManager) * Mon, May 3, 1999 (22:37) * 1 lines
thanks for sharing!
Topic 149 of 177 [screwed]: advanced masturbatory device
Response 21 of 21: Alexander (aschuth) * Wed, Jan 12, 2000 (15:50) * 4 lines
Re: Monogamy/polygamy, the ban of polygamy caused - at least in part - the tremendous increase of prostitution in Thailand and other Asian countries.
Women were sent away, and to support themselves, turned onto their last resorts. And many girls are not married off, because the parents demand to much money for a poor man to come up with, and the rich men are only allowed one wife.
So, imposing Western morals upon these people to cause the good created the bad.
screwed forum profound 
Main Menu